Managing Conflict in a Small Team Setting¹

by Vern R. Johnson

Conflict and disagreement are unavoidable. People often can “feel” when conflict exists. Conflict and disagreement can be described as the heat generated by change; whenever there is change, the possibility exists that those involved will disagree about what direction to take. And without realigning strategies and goals around the new direction — or without agreement or compromise about the realignment — conflict will surely arise.

Business directions, customers and technology change continuously. As a result, engineering teams are in constant contact with the drivers that induce conflict.

There are three basic causes of conflict in a small-team setting:

1. Information — Incorrect information or the lack of information. For example, if someone doesn’t know about a planned team meeting, he or she will not attend. That absence will limit the team’s progress.
    
2. Goals/Roles — If some team members don’t understand the team’s task, or if members don’t know specifically what their assignments are, they cannot align themselves as a team.
    
3. Values — Team members must share values relative to the task and the approach used to accomplish it.

Conflict interferes with productivity. When a team experiences conflict, its members must resolve it before the team can move forward. Ultimately, their ability to accomplish tasks correlates directly with their ability to handle conflict.

Determining Whether or Not Conflict Actually Exists

Often, what appears to be a conflict is merely a misunderstanding. One way to determine whether or not a conflict exists is to use the following communication model:

While person B listens, person A does four things:

1. Give the data as an objective statement, without making a judgment or offering feelings. For example, “I see that you _______” or “I noticed that ______.”
    
2. Make an interpretation. Person A shares his/her judgment of what the data means. “I interpret this to mean ______.”
    
3. Identify the feelings that result from this interpretation. There are always “feelings” associated with conflict. These might include variations of anger, sorrow, joy or fear. This is the time to make a simple statement that recognizes those feelings, such as, “I feel _____ about it” or “…and it makes me angry.”
    
4. State the need to be filled or the action required. For example, “I would like you to ______,” or “I want you to ______ as a demonstration that you are still part of the team.”

During these first four steps, person A says to person B, “When you ______, I interpret it to mean ______. This makes me feel ______ and I would like you to ______.”

Now person A stops talking and listens while person B responds with steps 5 and 6.

5. Echo the expected action. Parrot back what was just heard to validate that you heard and understood the message. “I see that you are angry and you don’t think I care,” or “You want me to ______ as a demonstration that I am part of the team.”
    
6. Decide what you are willing to do about person A’s concern and respond accordingly. “To prove myself, I will _________,” or “I had no idea you would interpret my actions that way. In the future, I will ______.”

If person B’s answer is, “I will cooperate with your request,” the situation resolves itself. If person B’s answer is “I will ignore your need or requested action,” there is a conflict that must be resolved before persons A and B can move forward.

Attitudes That Should Exist When Giving and Receiving Feedback^2,3

It is sometimes necessary to notify team members that some of their actions are not acceptable. This may result from an oversight regarding ground rules, shared responsibilities or personal behaviors, among other things. It’s important for both the person giving feedback and the person receiving it to express appropriate attitudes during the discussion. The attitudes outlined below are designed to encourage behavioral modifications, rather than perpetuate the conflict.

Being invited to examine your behavior — receiving a “wake-up call” from your peers — may be an emotional, awkward and uninvited experience. It’s critical that the person who approaches a team member to give appropriate feedback do so in a simple, straightforward way, but with some degree of care:

• Don’t withhold concerns until they have become overwhelming. The sooner you approach problems, the easier it will be to resolve them.
   
• Make the meeting cordial. This is not the time to gang up on the person or to express a litany of concerns.
   
• Focus on the person’s behaviors and the results of those behaviors, rather than on the person.
   
• Cite a specific situation as an example of unacceptable behavior.
   
• Express concerns but avoid giving advice.
   
• Describe the change that needs to be made and then allow time for the person to respond.

We all like to hear praise from our teammates, but less favorable messages are much more difficult to accept. It is therefore just as important for people receiving corrective feedback to know how to respond when others feel it necessary to approach them about correcting inappropriate behavior. Here are some guidelines:

• Listen with an open mind. There is a problem and you need to understand it.
   
• If necessary, ask questions for clarification. Make sure you understand what your teammates are saying to you.
   
• This is the time to gather information, not to overreact or to agree with or reject the confrontation.
   
• Express appreciation for the information. Your teammates are taking a risk by trying to help you.
   
• If possible, experiment with behavior modifications that will satisfy the team's expressed needs.

Resolving Conflict

Now that an issue is out in the open, how can team members resolve the conflict? They may choose one or more of four conflict resolution methods:

1. Avoidance — Determine that the relationship is not important enough to save. “I can’t handle this. I’m out of here.” Or, “The cost of complying with your request is just too high. Let’s call the whole thing off.”
    
2. Exercise power — Take an assertive position based on power or position. “I am the boss.” “I am bigger.” “I am in control.” “It is my basketball, and I am going home.”
    
3. Who is right? — Go to a third party to mediate the conflict. If it is possible that the conflict is based on flawed information or confusion over goals or roles, it may help to go to an expert or reference book to find an acceptable answer.
    
4. Interest-based — When a conflict exists between person A and person B, each takes a position. They anchor themselves to their positions. They become entrenched with a barrier between them.

The trick is for each to find out why the other person took the position they did. Ask why. What is behind it? From the answers, they can determine what interest (“I”) they have in common. Then they can concentrate on the common interest rather than on their differences. Common interests can lead to compromise, which, in turn, helps those in conflict to relax from their entrenched positions.

Interest-based resolution is a three-step process:

1. Achieve contact — Validate the feelings of other people. Learn why they have taken a position. Understand them.
    
2. Boil down the problem — Ask clarifying questions about the issues that appear to exist. Prioritize these issues.
    
3. Choice making — Attempt to identify alternatives that can be chosen to provide an appropriate compromise and protect the common interest.

After persons A and B make a choice, one or both of them must take responsibility for implementing it. Once implemented, the conflict will recede, but if accountability for implementation is not verified, the conflict can return without warning.

As a final note, after a conflict is resolved, it is astonishing how effective a “thank you” is at bringing good will back into the relationship.

What is Your Conflict Resolution Style?

As presented in an earlier Today’s Engineer article, self-assessment is a required skill for all life-long learners (November 2004).

Assessing and understanding your conflict resolution style is the first step to improving the way you work with other people. Not only will you be able to recognize where you need to make changes in the way you manage conflict, but you may be able to avoid conflict by acknowledging the styles that other people express.

Before proceeding further in this article, take a few minutes to assess your personal style of conflict resolution. You can do this by clicking on the ASSESS button below and responding to the questionnaire.

If you are currently a member of a team, you and your teammates might want to assess your individual conflict resolution styles. By doing this, you will gain some perspective about your cumulative and individual strengths. Then, when conflict between teammates arises, you will have a better understanding about how to approach and resolve it.

Conflict resolution, similar to teaming, is a basic professional skill. The degree to which you are able to master this skill will govern — to a great extent — the direction your career will follow.

1. Johnson, V.R., 2003, Becoming a Technical Professional (second edition), Kendall/Hunt, Dubuque, Iowa.
    
2. The Team Memory Jogger, 1995, Methuen, MS: GOAL/QPC and Joiner Assoc.
    
3. Hill, R.L., D.J. Fisher, T. Webber, and K.A. Fisher, Group Process Questionnaire, Facilitator’s Guide, Orion Ltd., pg. 17-19.

Vern R. Johnson is Associate Dean of Engineering at the University of Arizona in Tucson and is IEEE-USA's Career Activities Editor. He can be reached at todaysengineer@ieee.org.

This article is adapted from materials in his book, Becoming a Technical Professional (Kendall/Hunt Publishing, Dubuque, Iowa, 2003). Linda Koss of Raytheon Missile Systems helped develop this material.